She's HilArius

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

JULY 10,2010
click HERE for tickets!!!

Monday, June 28, 2010

beyond the fear,

Shadows haunt me in my sleep
I fear the grim has come to reep
to rip away my beating heart
when I was blinded from the start
all hope is lost
Im fading fast,
bottled pain
from my past
is taunting me
it steals my light

"c'mon girl have you no fight!?"
defenses slowly dying
times like this I feel like lying
my heavy head on the ground
and sync my soul with the sounds
of the world and the beauty around

how peaceful I could truly be
I wish I pray that you would see
my heart and its beat
my chest cant take it
I scream and cry and pray I make it

my beacon of hope!
where have you been?!
save me from this life of sin!
with you I am so innocent
my GOD you must be heaven sent.
Im bowing scraping at your feet
just take me with you
plant the seed
I'll water myself, just watch me grow
5 minutes now until the show.
you ready?!
excited screams of joy and fear screech from the voices of my peers
pressures on don't crack yet dear
save that for tabloids next year
broken lives make better sales
don't forget what this entails
you belong to US oh darling dear
WE saved you when the end was near.
remember who was there in fact
before the world sees you crack.
now get it together oh diva you
before we break it all in two.
won't give you half

I peer into the looking glass
seeing shards of my past
mixed with pieces of my soul
and tiny flecks of the finest gold

now I remember who I am
not swayed by your words
could give a damn
about you and your standards
you can go to hell

I didn't mean that, I wish you well
life is too short to sell your soul
too long to burn out quick
so sip it slowly
drink it down
count the blessings all around.

keep pushing on my darling dear.
you will last beyond the fear.

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Alright everyone, its time for a revolution. I'd like to introduce you to REAL music. Young Lyxx is one of the most talented and hard working people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He is highly motivated and extremely talented, support his vision and help spread the word.

Download Rosaries on the Dresser
Follow Young Lyxx on twitter

Saturday, May 29, 2010



Where do I go from here?
Two feet on the ground
but the end is near...

Barley breathing
losing sight of anything real.
drowning in your sorrow
I don't know how to deal

with the ocean of emotions this cruel world has handed me
cast my tormented soul into the darkened sea

fate rips the roots of my jaded past
proofs in the pudding
how I prayed it would last...

Shattering this hourglass
I refuse to fail
studied my past

Now here's the test,

Are you ready Dear?
Hurry! FAST! Have no fear.

Scarred and burned
but still I crawl
Up on two feet I will not fall.
I'm running now towards your embrace
Fly with me to outer space

We'll disappear and never return
Once bitten twice shy
we both have learned

No gravity to hold us down
Im hypnotized
still safe and sound.

Stealing you away from the pain of this life
Yes I've been cut but who handed them the knife?
It was me you see
no one to blame.

Forget the light, the money, the fame.
just fly with me and we'll be free.

two glowing souls.

bound for eternity.

-Thank You For Reading

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I'm naked
I'm numb
I'm stupid
I'm staying
And if Cupid's got a gun, then he's shootin'

Lights black
Heads bang
You're my drug
We live it
You're drunk, you need it
Real love, I'll give it

So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

You wasted your times
On my heart
You've burned
And if bridges gotta fall, then you'll fall, too

Doors slam
Lights black
You're gone
Come back
Stay gone
Stay clean
I need you to need me

So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

Now we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart ïn parts

-Lykke Li

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Breathe Me Into Existence


Its almost time
I write this rhyme

so you will feel me.

not just "feel" me but FEEL ME.

Breathe me into existence.

A sudden rush when my name crosses your lips.
Don't you worry your pretty little head
hate until the day your dead.

by all means
write my life story for me
save me some trouble

love drunk
make mine a double.

but its on the house you see
pour you the world when you mention me.

too bad nobody knows your name,
keep fucking your way to fame
my dear.

Lie until your face turns blue
I'll smile and wave

they still don't know you...

because you don't know you.

so inhale, exhale
blow me up

when the smoke clears
they'll call your bluff...


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sex, Music and Everything in Between


Anyone who knows me knows I love music. I have a deep respect for artists, writers, producers, engineers, managers etc. But what I don't have respect for is taking the easy way out. A lot of people in the industry have lost their passion for making real music. Sex sells but enough is enough. I'm not saying every song about sex is shit but when did sex become more important than art? It seems nowadays you throw a thick girl in some hot shorts and fishnets, drop a few lines about what you'd like to do to her, maybe a bedroom scene or two and its a wrap. Anyone can write a song about fucking someone. Give me someone who can teach me something new, enlighten me. What happened to the ART in Artist? Don't get me wrong I know of plenty of artists out there giving their heart and soul to the art behind their work. I don't think those real artists get the recognition they deserve. I pay very close attention to lyrics, if you don't deliver something amazing lyrically, I'm not interested. I know this all goes back to the roots of Hip-Hop and R&B, my question is, when is it going to be about the music? When did we lose the artistry? Real music is on the rise. I look forward to the day I can watch Mtv JAMS and not have 6 songs in a row be about the SAME thing. Because we all know they are. Im sure your wondering what sparked all of this, its hard to explain. I was watching the new Ciara video "Ride" and I was so dissapointed. I thought about the song, the lyrics, the production, the message and I tried my best to be objective but as the video played I became more and more disgusted. I see a beautiul woman dancing around half naked singing about how sexy she is and how great she is in bed. WHY DO I CARE!? ( I don't ) Ciara needed to get her name back out there, I get it. Why did she take the easy way out? We all know It doesn't take a genius to make a catchy song (Roscoe Dash, Travis Porter Soulja Boy) but you don't have to buy into it. Just thought I would share my opinion.


Comment if you please, I'll be happy to discuss..


Monday, May 17, 2010

Hanging the drapes on the windows of my soul.

It seems to me you know too much.
You see me as nothing more than a name,
something to attach yourself to
in order to portray a more perfect image of "you"

Beautiful words flow from your tangled tongue
drawing me nearer with every strategically placed compliment.

awe stricken by the thought of your admiration
I blush.

Searching from my window longing for your touch.

But your heart is not true.
You cannot see who I am because to see who I am would mean that you could see me at all.

Hiding outside my windows

Those bushes can't mask your intentions.

I have hung the drapes

now I'm closing the blinds

"click" lights out.

where are you now?

Sunday, May 16, 2010


I sit and wait.
Alone in my thoughts.
Will anyone understand?

I cannot put in to words the worlds of emotion slowly constricting around my fragile neck.
But you...
oh you, could care less.
The glass walls I've blown to enclose my beating heart are shattering.With every breath you break me down.
I gave you the key and the code to my door. You gave me hope, a smile on a broken hearts mask.

But how dare you take my heart for a joy ride. When my only goal was to please. I saw a bright future for you and I. That future now burried in a bed of lies.

Keep in mind, mine open to the world, you told me I was the only girl.
Share not what you have promised casting stones at my shattered windows.

When will it end? Lost in a world of love and lies I search for hope in anothers eyes. Healed not my broken windows remain.

Blemish of my heart your love is stained. Wishing only to scrub the pain away.

This love it haunts me night and day... I cannot bleed the love I gave

my shattered heart,

you could have saved.


Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Waking up to the harsh reality of life is never a pleasurable experience.

I'm only nineteen but I feel like I have learned and experienced so much more than most people my age. I'm disappointed in the way people treat me for being so young. I admire other peoples experiences and respect their perspective but I still have a right to my own opinion. I have this manager at work that always talks down to me. I'm not sure if she thinks I have a mental handicap or if she thinks I don't speak English. She does what I call "smothering the puppy"
just like a child who loves the puppy so much they pick it up by the neck and carry it around or squeeze it till it passes out on accident. My manager breaks down every detail no matter how minor. She could turn "take out the trash" into "go to the bathroom, go inside, take out the trash bags, put them outside, go back inside, change the bags and then come back here. OK? The bags are over here in the closet, here let me show you." I swear some days I just want to slap her in the face and yell "I GOT IT!"
Today was poker night, we had a good crowd but yet again my manager was blowing my high...On poker night most people go to the bar to get drinks during the game, I very rarely have tables on poker night. So I joined one of my coworkers in the kitchen to send an email out before the dinner rush. ONE table walks in and here my manager goes (she has anger issues too) "ARIUS! GET THE FUCK OFF THE COMPUTER! WTF ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE! IM NOT HERE TO SEAT YOUR FUCKING TABLES, GET IT TOGETHER, SHIT YOU NEED TO BE WATCHING THE FUCKING DOOR INSTEAD OF PLAYING AROUND BACK HERE!" Most of you reading this know me well enough to know I REALLY wanted to yell at her but Im on stike 2 and I do NOT need to get fired! So I bit my tongue like a good girl and did my job. I understand why she was upset but the way she came at me was really unneccessary. I can understand her rage though, she's going to jail for 10 days this month and I KNOW thats going to BUHHH-LOOWWWW!! Its karma though, all that negative energy she's been putting out there came back to her in the form of 3 DUI's and 1 count of driving under the influence on a suspended liscense...I'll pray for her. On a lighter note, I really feel some love in the air. I dont think I have ever been in a relationship with someone who makes me so happy. I know he's busy all the time and we don't always get to spend as much time as we want to together...but when Im with him my whole world is at peace. Its like every problem, stress, pain, whatever it may be, just melts away. Never lose your love people. If there is anything I have learned in my ninteen short years it is that love is the answer to every problem. If you live your life with love and understanding you attract nothing but good karma. I spoke to a very wise couple the other night at work, they were in town for a convention. They came from the UK. I served them in the middle of a pretty big rush and they kept praising me on my work. They stayed around after the rush to talk to me, which was extremely flattering. Apparently they had been discussing me the whole dinner (and not in a "we-should-take-her-home" kind of way!) they asked me a lot of questions about what I do and where I want to be and what I've done and they told me some of the best advice I've heard in quite some time. They told me that I was living my life in a very ideal way, by following my heart and gut instincts. The woman looked me right in the eyes and said "Follow your instincts on EVERYTHING most of the time when your heart tells you something is wrong it is WRONG and when your heart tells you something is right it is RIGHT and if it isn't you are meant to learn from it, so follow your instincts at all costs." I really admired the way her and her husband lived their lives. They seemed to have no limits. They both work for the same company, they travel all over the world together doing semenars and seeing the sights, they look genuinely happy. When they looked eachother in the eyes you could SEE the love. It really touched my heart to see that kind of connection. I hope I have that someday. They were so fun, they made me pick out the pizza for them, they ordered crazy drinks, they danced and joked...Like I said, I really admired their happiness. Completely random BUT, I have the worlds GREATEST mom. Just in case you guys didnt know :)

Im off to dream something beautiful


Monday, April 5, 2010

burn after reading...

I cradle your soul,
I can hear your heartbeat from heaven

You whisper words of wisdom and peace.
I send you my love while spreading yours.
I breathe your miracles.
Because of you,
I am.

Easter Thoughts...

First of all thank God for such a beautiful Easter Sunday. I couldn't have asked for better weather. I was thinking about Easter and the concept of resurrection and I started to think about life... What happens when we die? Why is there so much infinite space out there that we cant reach? What if when we pass on were resurrected in another galaxy or something! We only have 5 senses. What if there's a whole other parallel universe; people and animals coexisting flawlessly with us at this very moment? And we live everyday completely blind to it...we wont know until God decides we're ready in my opinion. I always wonder why we dream, I think a lot of dreams are flashbacks of past lives, what if another part of our soul is living on in that parallel universe and we don't find out who exactly we REALLY are until we go through several lives and tests and lessons. Maybe that's what heaven is, knowing EXACTLY who you are, loving everything about yourself, being as holy as God intended you to be. I live every day with as much love and understanding as I can because I know that when I die I will continue on in spirit and that God is watching over me. I hope I get everything out of my life that God wanted me to. I really love the direction that my life is going right now, I think its good karma for the way Ive been behaving lately...I'm far from perfect but I'm working on it, every day I feel as though I improve myself a little. I take every failure as a lesson learned and move on with a positive attitude. I try to treat everyone as I would want to be treated. I feel like life is my oyster these days..I'm so thankful for all of my blessings and all of the wonderful people in my life. My friends know I love them and my family couldn't be prouder...*sigh*what a beautiful day, I hope you all had a great Easter, I know I did! Don't let anyone steal your sunshine, stay free.

\/ & <3>

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Lupe Fiasco is one of my favorite artists of all time...

Follow his Royal Dopeness

Better get your tickets now! They're sellin like hot cakes! >>Tickets<<

. I have a blog.

so...I havent blogged since the 9th grade. I figure I can use it as material for my book anyways...So I suppose I just let you all know whats up...I should probably whine about something lol thats usually what comes to mind when I think of blogs. I thought about it and theres nothing important enough to complain about at the moment. Anyways, today was AWESOME. I had the day off from work, I took a walk, made some new friends at GA State, made spanish rice and chicken...went into a musical coma...(this is so boring)

Im gonna spare you all until I have something legit to discuss.